Self-sabotage comes in many different forms.
Some obvious, others not so much.
But they all create the same results, no results at all.
It’s frustrating, confusing and it can even feel like there is a literal battle going on inside your head.
You want all the success in the world or at least part of you does.
But then there’s this other part that’s scared and thus, self-sabotage is manifested.
So how do you identify self-sabotaging behaviors and actually stop them in their tracks so that you can actually get the results that you want?
Here are 10 ways you are self-sabotaging your success.
10 Ways You are Self-Sabotaging your Success
1. Believing that Failure Exists
What if failure wasn’t even a real thing, but was only real based on your perspective?
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
Or maybe it doesn’t and you’re like yeah freaking right.
Think about it like this.
Let’s say you’re learning the breaststroke for the first time.
You sputter your way around the pool, you feel like your lungs are on fire and your nose hairs are burning off from too much chlorine.
Did you fail at learning the breaststroke?
You might’ve said, no because you were just learning how to do it so how can you expect to get it right the first time?
Okay, so then let’s put that into the context of a goal that wasn’t reached.
You set a goal of making $10,000 in your business in one month and you ended up making $9,999.99.
Did you fail at your goal?
Some people might say no and some might say yes.
You set a goal and didn’t reach it.
But guess what did happen.
You learned how to make $9,999 in one month.
You also probably learned some things that didn’t work.
There is no “failure”.
It simply doesn’t exist if you try because regardless of your outcome, desired or not, you still got data on what worked and what didn’t.
2. Hiding under the “Busy Blanket”
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been busy in your life.
Most of us have, so we know the feeling of “being busy” right?
It’s almost addicting.
We lay our heads down and night and think about how busy we were that day and think about what a great thing it is to be busy.
Being busy is a form of self-sabotage.
Think about it.
If you spend all your time being busy, filling up your hours, how are you ever going to have time to do the things that move the needle forward?
This is important in any venture you’re pursuing.
Here’s a little reality check, most of the time, the tasks that make the biggest splash in your life, are the ones that take the least amount of time.
They’re also usually the ones that drag us out of our comfort zone.
Successful people are very intentional with their time and use their time in the best way possible, which means, they’re not hiding behind, “busy”.
If you notice yourself saying you’re too busy or how busy you’ve been, think about if those tasks were just a distraction from what you really should be doing.
Making decisions can take weeks or months at a time.
Weighing each option, researching each outcome, asking all your neighbors, Googling until your eyes fall out.
Making decisions quickly is like taking the scenic route to success.
It may not lead to immediate successes, but it will move you forward much more quickly.
Kinda like taking the bullet train or walking yourself.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t weight your options or make rash decisions all the time. I am saying make decisions quickly.
If it’s a great opportunity, take it.
If it feels off and like somethings not right, then don’t.
Trust your intuition, and trust knowing that making a decision quickly will lead to an outcome much faster than sitting on it for months at a time will.
4. Comparing Your Chapter One to Someone Else’s Chapter Ten
How many times have you heard that saying before?
A million and one.
Now it’s a million and two but who’s counting.
Look, it doesn’t matter if you’re comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten or even their chapter one.
Nobody’s book is going to look exactly the same.
Someone else might reach what you call success much faster than you, but why does that matter?
See here’s what usually happens, you compare yourself to others to see how you stack up against them. Maybe you’re not as far along as them so you feel bad, then you stop making decisions, you stop taking action and you end up getting nowhere fast.
The quickest way up the mountain is to look at your own path.
Do not waste your precious time looking behind you or all around you trying to figure out if you “should” be doing what everyone else is doing.
Trust that you’re on the right path for you.
5. Letting the World Dictate What’s Possible for You
Expecting the world to change with you is like expecting the rest of the house to change colors after painting one room.
There are going to be circumstances, people, places and things that don’t align with your vision.
You’re going to have naysayers, you’re going to have people who don’t understand.
It doesn’t matter.
And giving in to what everyone else is saying is just another form of self-sabotage.
Because when you allow the world to decide what’s possible for you, you let your own dreams slip through your fingers and put them into someone else’s hands.
Success, your dreams, your life, and what’s possible for you is up to YOU and only YOU.
How many times a day do you blame being late on the traffic?
Or you blame the barista for taking too long to make your morning cup of joe?
Or you stand around the water cooler complaining about your boss and the odd smell that’s coming up out of the floors in your office.
You are 100% responsible for how you react to everything in your life.
No one can make you feel a certain way without you first making the decision to feel that way.
Blaming other people for where you are, why things didn’t work out is easy. It gives you an out. An excuse as to why you don’t have what you want yet.
But it’s not going to get you any further in life.
And the longer you blame or complain about the things you have full control over, the longer you waste not living the life you want to live.
7. Waiting Until You’re Ready
Ah, “ready” another illusion of the mind.
But a trick that will keep you standing right where you are for months or even years.
Were you ready to learn how to walk as a child?
Probably not and you probably fell, a lot. Like a lot a lot.
But you got back up and tried again.
Were you ready to drive a car on the interstate?
But you did anyway.
We do things we’re not “ready” for all the time.
We jump in head first, not knowing what the outcome will be but not really caring.
So why can’t we do that with success or living the life we want?
Because we believe “ready” is something we can find. Something we can hold onto with our hands.
Ready is relative.
For me being “ready” could mean something completely different than it does for you.
And when you wait on something that is relative and based on your perspective, you’ll be waiting a very, very long time.
8. Resisting Change
The only constant in life is, change.
Seasons change, people change, your dog changes, towns change, cars change.
You get it.
Change is necessary for growth.
Without change, everyone and everything would all stay the same.
Time after time.
That sounds boring if you ask me.
Change helps you grow in ways that staying the same never could and growth is what makes life exciting.
The only reason we fear change is because it’s unknown.
We fear the unknown.
Fearing change or clinging onto your old life like a monkey with a banana is just another way to keep yourself stuck exactly where you are and will ensure that you don’t move forward.
Try this instead, change the meaning of change.
Turn it into a positive instead of a negative. Decide that change gets to be fun and easy.
9. Adopting the “I can do it myself” Attitude
I used to wear my Googling abilities as a badge of honor.
I could Google anything and everything to find the right answers. I didn’t need anyone else, I could do it myself.
Yeah okay, maybe doing it myself took me a lot longer than getting help but that didn’t bother me.
And guess what?
I stayed right where I was for YEARS.
You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness it was first created.
Really this just means, we all look at the world and our own lives from our own little box.
Everyone’s box looks a bit different but we all have one.
And from that box, we can only see certain things, certain outcomes, certain ways of doing things, certain perspectives and so on.
When we allow someone to look at our lives from their own box, they see the holes.
The places we cannot see.
The things we so desperately want to change but can’t because we’re looking at those things from the same perspective of how they were created.
Point is, trying to do everything yourself is just another way to keep yourself stuck and looking for answers instead of getting out there and doing the things that help you live the life you want.
As a personal development coach, I can help you identify the limiting beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back as well as set up a plan to help you be successful at anything and everything you set your mind to. Email me to set up a call via my contact me page. My rates are half off right now ($50 an hour instead of $100)
10. Doing the Same Things Over and Over Again and Expecting a Different Result
If you do the same things, you will get the same results.
Makes sense right?
But we do this all the time.
Most of the time without even realizing we’re doing it.
Whether you’re jumping into new relationships with the same thinking as the old ones or starting a new job with the same attitude and habits, you will inevitably get the same results.
Habits are one of those things that are hard to crack.
They time some patience, but mostly, they just awareness.
If you keep getting the same results over and over and over again, instead of blaming everyone around you, ask yourself, “What can I do differently to get a different result?”
Ask yourself really good questions and you’ll get really good answers.
If you want to learn how to create new habits that change your life, check out my personal development eBook.
This is just kinda part of being a human being.
We self-sabotage at one time or another.
All it really takes is the awareness that we’re doing it.
Become aware of the thought patterns, the habits and the behaviors that are keeping you stuck and move them around to help yourself move in the direction you want to go.