Interviews Personal Development

Overcoming Trauma with Kelly Bramblett

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I am always on the lookout for incredible women doing amazing things and I found just that when I started my book mentorship with Emma Mumford.

Kelly Bramblett is one of the authors alongside me in the book mentorship program and as soon as I heard her story, I knew I had to interview her.

I had the honor of interviewing Kelly Bramblett a week ago on Facebook live, about her upcoming book which will be released in early to mid-2020.

Kelly is a trauma recovery coach, a Law of Attraction Practitioner and owner of Sankofa Creative Handmade Jewelry.

Her story of overcoming sexual and emotional trauma is inspiring, heartwrenching and absolutely beautiful. If you’re ready to shed a few tears and learn some really incredible insights on how Kelly overcame trauma, found her path through spirituality as well as a few of her favorite rituals and practices for writing with intention, keep reading on, this interview is one you do not want to miss.

I kept this blog interview to the questions I asked specifically and this is a summarized version of the interview, but Kelly and I also talked outside of the main questions and there is more to this interview that is extremely interesting.

I want to make sure you don’t miss any of the golden nuggets that Kelly shares, so please make sure to watch the full video interview here.

 

Hey Kelly! Let’s start by telling everyone who you are, what you do and who you help.

For those of you guys who don’t know, my name is Kelly Bramblett. What I do is an ever-expanding question. It seems like every day I’m adding something new to the mix. But for the most part, as a whole, I help people recover from trauma through my life coaching and my weekly blog. But I do offer other types of coaching as well.

I do Law of Attraction coaching, spiritual advancement coaching and I do specialize in trauma recovery coaching. I also own Sankofa Creative which is my handmade jewelry. And I always have a host of side projects going on. And writing my new book!

Tell us a little bit about your book (launching in 2020)

My book has three parts but the third part is more an index of applicable tools that are throughout the book that people can find all in one place.

The first part of my book is my own personal story with sexual abuse, being brainwashed as a teenager and all the emotional abuse that went along with that. I also talk about what I call the inevitable downward spiral that I think always happens from unresolved wounding and trauma. I talk a lot about that and my struggles with drugs and drinking and the chaotic energy that was formed from not resolving that.

In the second part of my book, I really go into detail about exactly how I got to the originating source. I traveled all the way back, followed all of my triggers backward and started identifying where I had created these initial limiting beliefs.

One thing I talk about a lot in my book and I talk a lot about online as well is, because I had so much wounding I did struggle with drugs and drinking so much. For so many years I was focused on the drinking or the drug use, thinking that this is the problem.

I would do well for a little bit and then inevitably do that slip backward and what I realized is that until we go back to the originating source, the same situation will continue to repeat itself. Focusing on the drinking and the drug use, that was me focusing on the manifestation of the wounding. It wasn’t until I learned to go back and heal it at the source that all the other things fell away.

My desire to drink is zero today. Where for 20 years, it was my biggest demon that I was battling, or at least I thought it was. But like I said, it was the manifestation.

I share very detailed, step-by-step how I did it, with tons of tools, meditations, journaling prompts to make it easier for healing.

What is the most surprising thing that you’ve learned about yourself while writing this book?

This is a good question and it’s an easy one for me to answer! I did not expect that writing about these things would envoke so much pain and reliving them a second time. All of this stuff happened to me when I was 15 years old and it’s always been residing there.

I’ve kept journals my whole life and that’s been a huge aid in writing this book because I can go back and actually read things that I was writing during that time. I am so happy that I have those books to help me recall that stuff, but also pour through these journals and reading them in my own words. Now I have the perspective of a grown woman, but reading my words from the perspective of a teenager, I can now view myself as the child that I was.

At the time I never saw myself as being a child. I think this is why it took me so long to even come to grips with the fact that I was sexually abused. Because to me, I saw myself somewhat as an active or whiling participant to some degree after a certain amount of time had gone by. There was some amount of brainwashing that caused that as well.

In reading this I have oftentimes put my own children in that situation and I think that strangely enough, that has been more painful than imagining it for myself. Just imagining my own daughters and my son and thinking, I can’t even imagine this. Looking at them I can see how young they are and how innocent they are still, even at their age as young adults. And I can’t even imagine that for my own children.

And I think I’ve really connected somehow to the pain in that weird way of associating it with seeing myself as the child I was and recognizing that I wasn’t an equal participant. I’ve known that for many years but like I said, it’s just the diving in so deep to it and of course, I’ve had old triggers that I didn’t expect, that I thought I had healed. A lot of stuff with my family. Of course, I love them to death and we’ve all come so far, but we’re all intermingled into it and that’s another big theme of my book. I talk about generational wounding and the cycle that we pass down from generation to generation.

For the longest time in my healing, I was in that victim mode. Everything is my parent’s fault, they did this to me, they didn’t help me, they made my life more difficult. And I was thinking this late into my twenties, way into adulthood. I think just getting out of that victim mentality and just seeing that I had my daughter at the same age as my mom had me and then I’ve gone on now to make so many mistakes with my children. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my parenting because of my substance abuse. And seeing that cycle now continue.

What I really want to do and what I hope even within my own family is bring everything to light and end the cycle. So that by the time my children are having their children, this has all been healed and we’re going to see the stop to this abuse that has traveled down through the generations in my family.

That’s been another huge thing, is dealing with that old wounding, those old triggers with my family and how we’re all connected. While this is my story, this isn’t just my story alone. I share this story with the people that I shared my life with and continue to share my life with.

I think that has surprised me and sometimes feeling like I’ve taken 10 steps back in a way and reacting to them sometimes.

Ultimately though, I see it as this book is even further helping me with my healing process, while I’m also hopefully going to be able to use this work to help other people through their process. As much as this book is for other people, I really do feel in my heart, this book is for me as well. It has brought just as much healing to me in the process of writing it.

Do you have a ritual or a spiritual practice that you like to do before you start writing?

I do! That’s a huge thing for me, is I will not write if I’m not in alignment. It’s not something I’m whiling to push because I feel like for what I’m trying to do, it’s my responsibility to make sure that I am writing from a place that I feel like is inspired.

I do my spiritual practice every morning which already aids in getting me into alignment. But before I actually sit down to write the book, I’ll do a couple of cycles of breathing really deep, centering myself. And then I’ll say a little prayer, “Let me find the words that I need to, that are most going to help the people that are going to read this book. Inspire me in the way that you would like me to write this.” Something along those lines. I don’t say the same prayer every single time but something along those lines.

It depends too on what part of the book I’m on and what’s going on. Sometimes I ask for support for myself. Some of the parts have been particularly difficult to write through. That prayer does change up but I always like to go into breathing, get into that centered grounded place, bring my awareness fully in, and then just say a little prayer to the Universe, and set my intentions.

I always make sure that everything I’m saying is being led by Spirit and not ego. Because especially when I’m writing my book about certain people in my past or different things, it’s like I want to make sure I’m writing about everybody in the most respectful, heart-centered way. And that I’m not ever tapped into something that’s not coming from the best place possible. You revisit those old triggers and then all of a sudden you are pissed about this again and then it’s like okay, maybe let’s recenter yourself before you start writing.

I do that pretty much every single time.

You said that when you wanted to write a book, you just kind of asked the Universe what you should write about because you didn’t have anything in mind?

This story that happened, you would think that I would think to write about something like this first but I’ve lived with it all these years. To me, it’s just something that I live with. I really never did think to write about it and honestly, I was just writing about this on Instagram or Facebook. I was actually talking about how I didn’t ever even talk about the abuse. Much less did I ever think I would write a book about it.

So many of the people in my life that have known me for years, 10 years, wouldn’t even know about this. I just didn’t ever talk about it. It was part of that process of running from it and escaping it. I never even thought to write about this or any of that but it just kind of came to me and I was like that’s it, I need to share this story and I need to share it in its complete rawness and I feel like the book is very raw in places.

I don’t really sugarcoat things. I don’t sugarcoat my behavior, I don’t sugarcoat the downward spiral, I don’t sugarcoat the abuse. It’s in there in full openness. And I think telling my story in this way has been so empowering for me after keeping it so silent for so many years. You don’t want people to think “Oh, I want attention, or this horrible thing happened to me, poor me.” I always understood that I am not alone in this.

This story, whether it’s the exact situation I was in or a variation, this story of sexual, mental and emotional abuse is rampant everywhere. So this a story that I know I share with a ton of people. And I never wanted to have it told in a way that looks like I was attention-seeking in that way.

But when this book came about I was like okay, this isn’t bad at all, this is telling it from an authentic, unashamed, place, like I’m owning this, I’m connecting to gratitude because without this experience I don’t think I would have found my way to this purpose in life. This experience fueled my purpose.

So I’ve learned to have gratitude and connect to it with gratitude but it definitely wasn’t something I was thinking about and I really do think that writing the book has helped that so much more. To own it and say, it is what it is and I’m not going to hide it anymore. I’m going to share it because I know other people are out there just like I was hiding their truth, hiding from it and it’s like lets just get it out and take care of it, get it all out on the table, take care of it, acknowledge it and then, go about life in a much happier, healed energy.

Has writing this book made you show up in a different way in life or even show up in a different way in your business?

Not just writing the book has but just being in this line of work in general. I definitely feel the weight of responsibility. I can’t very well jump online every day and say, “You need to do your spiritual practice every day, you need to do this.” If I’m not doing that myself. I think just this line of the work, the book included, really helps keep me accountable. I have to walk my talk. I have to be doing every single thing that I’m advising other people to do.

Our books are going to be released into the world soon and I think that that is going to open another door full of experiences right there. I almost have this sense of the calm before the storm and want to really soak up every moment of this experience because it is such a huge experience as you know, you’re right here with me.

I’m not in a hurry to rush through it. That’s why it’s easy for me to say I’m just going to go with the flow and see what happens, because I don’t feel this huge like, “Oh, I just want to get it done and get it out there.” No, I want to enjoy every second of it.

Do you think you’ll write a second book?

Yeah, I do. I definitely do. What it’s going to be about, I have no idea. I think it’ll probably be similar to the first. Something will happen, some inspiration will hit me and I’ll be at my laptop writing away and I guess I’ll find out then.

I love writing and it has always been such an amazing way for me to process my feelings. When I was a kid and I had these anger problems, I would use my journal as a way to get it all out in a safe space where I wasn’t being volatile to my family. I’ve always connected writing and healing together and to me, it’s almost such a part of who I am. Even if I’m not writing another book, I will always be writing something. Whether it’s my blog, whether it is keeping track of my life through journals. With that, I do think I’ll feel that strike of inspiration and maybe even a third, no one knows.

Is there anything that you would like to tell your younger self if you could?

That’s a good question, but I’m kind of like there are so many things, but I’m also kind of like would you want to tell your younger self that because would you want to remove some of those experiences? The first time you said that I thought I would like to warn my younger self, but if I did that where would I be?

I guess I don’t really know about that one, because I really am comfortable with the way everything turned out. So I don’t know what advice I would offer myself because I don’t think I was meant to have that kind of advice at that age. I think I was always meant to travel the more difficult road and those were my choices. I chose the more difficult road, time and time again in my decision making over the years. And I think that there is divine reasoning to that. I think before I came here I made those decisions to put myself into those difficult situations because I ultimately knew this was where it was going to end up and I had to get some of that stuff out for learning.

I think the one thing I would just say is, love yourself more. That was the biggest thing that I struggled with for the majority of my life. Self-loathing, shame, guilt. I think if I would have been able to get around my shame and guilt much sooner, I would have been able to have more time with my children when they were younger.

Would you be here today, if you didn’t go through what you went through?

No, absolutely not.

That’s where I get that connection to gratitude. I am so happy where I am. That was so worth it because it got me here. I don’t know where I would have been in my life. We don’t ever know. I think that’s where you bring in destiny and the path that we’ve decided that we’re going to walk.

I think no matter what path that is, that is the right one. Even if it seems like you’ve veered off. You can always come back and bring so much back from it.

You have such a beautiful perspective on life. Has it taken a while to get to this point?

Yes. I’ve definitely been plagued with being more negative for the majority of my life and the complainer, not very go with the flow, having temper problems. I definitely had a lot of negative energy and outlook about life. For the longest time, I really did believe that this was hell. We come here to experience hell and I always knew it was for growth. But I always viewed Earth as evil, dark, hellish, scary, dangerous. These were the types of words that would always come to mind. I would always tell people, life is supposed to be hard, we’re supposed to struggle, this is the reason we’re here.

When I started really getting in Abraham Hicks and reading their stuff, that created such a huge shift for me that literally changed my life. I was like this actually isn’t hell, even though we do experience contrast here. But our real purpose is that life is supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to be free of resistance. Life is supposed to be joyous and happy.

So when I started embracing that understanding, obviously everything switched over and then my perspective changed. The world didn’t look like this evil, hard, difficult, place. This world is a beautiful place. Everywhere I look I see the beauty around me.

Abraham Hicks has changed my life in switching that perspective from life is supposed to be hard to life is meant to be enjoyed. So how can I connect to joy in this moment and in every moment? Because like I always say, in every fabric of the Universe we have that duality. As you know, I know you believe the same thing, the Law of Attraction.

We have a choice in every moment, there is equally as bad and equally as good. And it really does depend on which one you want to see. Abraham Hicks really helped me understand that and tap into that and decide, I’m choosing to see the good. Even in crappy situations, I can find the good.  I think that’s really what created that shift in me.

Was there something that happened that triggered you to jump into this world of spirituality and Abraham Hicks?

I’ve always had a tie, an understanding of this inner being. I’ve always been connected to spirituality on some level. By the time I was 14 years old I had already been baptized in four different churches. So I always had a deep interest in spirituality, I was always looking for something.

Even as a teenager and writing in my journals, there’s a lot of talk about spirituality. I think what was happening for me however is that because of a lot of the trauma I was more gathering information all the time. I understood things, but I was never applying them to my own life. I was never reaping the benefits from it.

Then it was in about 2016, and I do write about this and I’ve also talked about it but I just remember at this point, I’m like well into my thirties and this isn’t’ exciting anymore, this isn’t fun. My life is a mess, I’m so exhausted, I’m so sick of being stressed, I’m so sick of being with these abusive men, I’m so sick of being separated from my children. Just everything. It was one of those rock bottom moments and I remember I was writing, I was journaling and I was writing my affirmations and out of the blue, across the page, I had written,

“You are worthy of happiness. You deserve to be happy.”

When those words came out something clicked in me and I remember I made this guttural sound, a scream, half scream, half cry, I can’t describe it and it was just like this pouring out of rage and pain and just everything. And just realizing that I don’t want it anymore. I do deserve to be happy. Up until that point, I believed I didn’t deserve it. So I put myself in situations that affirmed that and that was the real moment when I said,

“Not anymore. I know I don’t love myself in this moment but I’m going to start fighting.”

And I started fighting.

That was when I said enough is enough.

Honestly, it all happened really quickly. I started dedicating myself about a year and a half ago that’s when I really started doing it. Everyday. That’s when I quit my job. I had all this time to devote to this and no matter how I feel every single day I will show up for my practice. Because I know, if I don’t then I’m not going to be well anymore.

This keeps me well. This keeps me not anxious. This keeps me healthy. It keeps me continuing to heal. Because that process doesn’t just happen and then end. It’s a continuation. You’ll get to a plateau and then something shows up in life and floors you and you’re like oh my god, okay I need to revisit this. It’s a continuous process. It was about that time that I started really dedicating my life to this. I really just said,

“This, without a doubt is what I’m going to do.”

There was no more thinking, maybe I’ll do this. I stopped questioning what other people thought about what I was doing. I just started doing it anyway. It’s been hard for the people closest to me to really take me seriously. When you see someone who was addicted to meth, abandoned their children, be on a multitude of drugs and drunk all the time and then all of a sudden this person is like popping up with this message. A lot of people I’m sure have questioned this.

But honestly, it really just has been a dedication. I decided I was done questioning it. This life is not for me. I’m done. And this other life is for me because it feels so much better. That was the turning moment for me when I was just like that’s it. I have to fight, I’m done.

It was either that or worse. I was done feeling like crap, that wasn’t an option for me anymore. I can only go up from here, that’s my only option.

It’s hard to get out of that and disassociate and get outside of yourself and see it differently. But it’s so powerful that you did, because like you said, you don’t know where you would be if you didn’t choose something different.

If you look at things after, we’re talking 15, 20 years of living a certain way, these kinds of miraculous changes happened in my life so quickly once I made that choice. And that’s something that I always tell people, I know how your life may seem right now, but it’s amazing how the Universe just begins to open doors and align you with things.

And you’re like, I never would have thought of this solution. It happens really fast. You almost get instantly, I don’t want to say rewarded, because that insinuates that you’re being punished before, but that’s kind of how it feels. You start taking that step in the right direction and the Universe really smiles on you and shines its’ big beautiful light on you. and it’s like oh, it happened so fast.

That’s a huge point in all my work in general, no matter how bad it seems, just trust me, you can turn even the worst situation around in one moment and that one moment is just deciding to do so. Because after you put the thought in your head, the rest is done. Now it’s just following through and staying consistent with yourself and letting the Universe take care of the rest. And once you’ve made that thought, you’ve changed your life already and the rest will just fall into place. That’s one thing that I always try to impress on people, that there is always hope.

Thank you, Kelly, for an amazing interview!

Kelly’s story is an incredible journey and I am beyond excited to read her book when it is released in 2020. You can follow Kelly on social media on Instagram and Facebook and check out her website here.

You can also watch the full interview here.

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