I peed my pants until I was 12 years old.
Not the first line you were expecting for a “money mindset” post, huh?
Trust me, it’ll all make sense.
So stop stifling your laughter and just listen…or read.
I peed my pants until I was 12 because I was literally afraid to say out loud, “I have to go to the bathroom” and then run off and go do my business.
You may be wondering, how did I get that point?? My parents must’ve been awful!
Here’s the truth, at some point or another when my mom told my brother and I to go to the bathroom before leaving the house (because we were young and kids always have to pee before everything) my stubborn little butt would trot to the pot and secretly refuse to go.
Naturally, 10 minutes into whatever fun thing we were doing I had to go.
And one time my mom politely asked me to just go the first time. Probably because she was sick of missing the first half of “Finding Nemo” all the time. #90skid
Seriously, she didn’t scold, she didn’t yell, but she was “disappointed”. And in my little mind that meant that the act of asking to go to the bathroom meant disappointing someone else.
And from that point on I was too scared to speak up when I had to go.
The fear was bigger than the reward.
Until I changed the story I was telling myself.
Now let’s bring that into context with money but this time, let’s triple or more accurately quadruple the fear associated with money.
From the time we are born into adulthood we are taught to associate negativity with money.
Money is like sex.
We’re jealous and envious of the people who have a lot of it.
We all want more of it.
We’re ashamed if we don’t have it.
And we only talk about it or think about it behind closed doors.
And yet, other people’s views on it are thrown in our faces and shoved down our throats by the commercials we see, the shows we watch and the people we spend our time with.
From a young age, most of us are taught having money means people argue, not having money means we can’t do certain things, money is the root of all evil and the people that have it are the problem.
It’s basically engrained in our minds, money = pain.
And what do all living things on this earth want to avoid?
Ding, ding, ding, pain.
You may be thinking, yeah but life with money is so much easier.
Can’t argue there.
And you may believe this is true in the moment but later today or next week you may find yourself longingly looking at a super cute, sexy pair of jeans and think to yourself or even say to your friend, “I can’t afford that.” Or “I don’t have enough money”.
Or something along those lines.
And your brain goes, “okay, money = pain, let’s avoid that.”
You see, it’s not about what we say or think for the 7 minutes it takes to read this post, it’s about what we say and think when we’re not thinking about it.
If your default is lack, lack is what you will get.
Alright, that’s all well and good and cute story but how do you master your money mindset?
I’m going to share with you 5 actionable steps you can take today to change the story you are telling yourself and change your mindset around money.
Actionable Steps to Master Your Money Mindset
1. Be a Neutral Observer
Understand that nothing inherently has meaning besides the meaning we give it.
Think about a blade of grass.
Does it spark any type of emotion in you? Do you give it any meaning besides it being a blade of grass? No probably not. It’s just there, hangin’ out, doin’ its grassy thing.
The same rings true for money.
Money is simply just energy made up of billions of atoms moving around and it’s no different than that blade of grass we see every single day.
The only difference is the meaning we give to it.
We get these meanings from the people that raised us, the friends we hang out with, the news, social media, the list goes on.
When we become natural observers of money we strip away the emotional attachment we have to it.
And the less attachment we have to something, the easier it is for us to receive it.
Because when we say I really really really want, x amount of money, it means we really really really don’t have it which comes across as desperate and needy which all come from a lack mentality.
Think about a person that’s really into you and they’re always calling you and texting you and checking up on you, and they are constantly worried you’re going to leave them and all they want to do is cling to you and they get jealous if they see you talking to another human being, are you going to stick around?
Now think about a relationship where you’re both at ease with each other. You love hanging out together but you know you each have separate hobbies and when that person is away, you don’t worry about what they’re doing or who they’re talking to. You just trust that at the end of the day you’ll get to see them again and enjoy their company.
Money works the exact same way.
So when you just view money as a neutral object, you remove those lack vibrations thus attracting more money into your life.
2. Stop Letting the Past Dictate your Future
We don’t’ have a crystal ball to see into the future so we tend to use our past to tell us what we can expect.
Assuming that because x, y, and z happened in the past means that it will then happen again is something you’re going to have to give up if you want to change your money mindset.
You see, our thoughts are just a self-fulling prophecy.
So when you think well, this always happens to me, I always lose my money as soon as I get it, or I never get to enjoy my money because something always breaks, you’re literally just making it happen.
Our subconscious minds are very literal and will do whatever they can to give us the right answer. So by saying, this always happens, your brain will literally just show you more examples of that particular thing happening.
And most of these things that we think are going to happen, are simply based on what happened in the past.
It’s okay to recognize lessons from the past and figure out ways to not have to learn those lessons again in the future, but assuming that because it happened before, it’ll happen again will not help you or anyone else when it comes to changing your money mindset and bringing more money into your life.
3. Choose Your Words and Your Friends Carefully
What you say to yourself out loud or in your head and what you hear from others on a consistent basis are going to have the biggest impact on how you view money.
As I said, those thoughts and feelings you have about money came from the people who raised you and the people you spent the most time with.
The easiest place to start is with yourself.
Stop using the words, can’t, never, always, and expensive.
I can’t have that, that will never happen for me, I always ___, that’s too expensive.
These words are almost always coming from a place of lack which means, that’s what you’re going to get more of.
If you see something out of your price range instead say, I can’t wait to buy that, or I just don’t want that right now, or I’m choosing not to purchase that today.
The point is to switch your words from lack and fear into an abundance mindset.
This also goes for the people you spend your time with and the people you listen to on social media, the tv shows you watch and the news.
Start with yourself first, then branch out into removing people from social media that don’t align with your new thoughts and so on.
4. Change your Beliefs, Change your Life
Your beliefs create your reality. Change your beliefs, change your reality.
A belief is anything that starts with a thought and has a “because” after it.
I can’t make more money because ___.
I am awful with my money because _____.
I will always be broke because ______.
How is a belief created?
A belief is created when our thoughts are thought and said over and over and over and over again. They’re said so often that we believe them.
So how do you change a belief that you’ve had your whole life?
You tell yourself a new story.
I am very responsible with my money because I save 10% of every paycheck.
I am open to new opportunities to make more money.
Remember, your subconscious mind will always find you proof of whatever you say over and over again, so if you say/believe you are making six-figure months (and I mean really believe it), you will get proof of that.
Your beliefs also dictate the actions you take.
If you believe you’re going to get fired from your job, you’re not going to show up as much, you’ll slack off more and inevitably, your boss will fire you.
Believe everything is working out in your favor and everything will.
This takes time and lots of repetition as well as practice.
Just like it took repetition and practice to learn the other beliefs we have about money, it will take time to learn new ones.
5. Trust One Hundred Thousand, Million Percent that Your Sucess is Inevitable
This is something that I learned from Kathrin Zenkina of Manifestation Babe, everything is always working out in our favor, always.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Henry Ford.
This is probably one of the hardest lessons to learn but it is one that has the most profound effect on mastering your money mindset and actually changing every aspect of your life.
You need to have full and unwavering trust that no matter what, your success is inevitable.
If you’re trying to get a bigger paycheck, find $1,000 on the ground or you signed up for a big opportunity that could skyrocket your income, and it doesn’t happen, that’s the moment that your trust is “tested”.
The initial reaction would be to be disappointed, angry, sad, and even lose the faith and trust you had.
And the challenge is to trust that the situation didn’t work out for a reason.
The reason behind why it didn’t work out isn’t up to you, your job in this situation is to have unwavering trust that something better is coming and that your success is inevitable regardless.
I realize how much easier said than done this is but it is the one thing that changed everything for me when it came to my money mindset.
It releases the attachment we have to the money we desire, it releases the “how” of how the money will come to us and it gives us our power back because we know we’re successful regardless of how something turns out.
Practice this and you will literally see your life changing along with your money mindset.